i think i want to make some. oh no do i have to make some bread ratio calculations, i only just want enough bread for meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
it’s officially october, which makes it just over a year since i changed jobs. i still don’t feel that settled, though my teammates are great, because well, 2020. i have to admit, it’s been restful in a large sense because the last job really was a demonstration of having to do more with much less. i’m even trying to look like i’m taking evenings off before resuming my late night emails, because my line manager was like, you know, you can clock out. so that’s nice.
we were also supposed to be in jordan last month, but again, 2020. it’s so funny because i was going into 2020 with well, uh, this virus from wuhan seems like bad news considering the choice of governments many countries had, going into the year (not mine of course, but… lol), but work was still work, so i had been prepping for the last three months prior, with my monthly cincai/play-play budget to buy stuff for my work travel.
co-related to my being officially on ADHD medication was the realisation that the work travelling, the constant changes in portfolio management, and very quick turnarounds in various project-related stuff, utilised my focusing issues enough that i was pretty good at my work (while being pretty horrendous at the other expected bits such as tracking regular tasks like filing timesheets, and managing paperwork like filing timesheets).
so being on work travel mode is what drove a lot of my productivity. something about the change of scene, having a kettle nearby while a big black tv set is on msnbc so i can pick fights with the news. thus, while my home became one of the many requisitioned by my work, i also realised i need to change my one-bedroom unit into a hotel room.
(my home situation is one of those unmarried asian millenial compromises where in agreement for being the child to ‘take care’ of the home, i can start to assert ownership of various parts of this house, since i can’t afford to own a house, but also my mum would still like her master bedroom for the moment. i basically have my own growing apartment unit. i also need to have a think what does it mean since i barely have enough money for renovations either.)
so yeah, my work travel cooker now makes breakfast porridges in the room. my travel kettle makes the coffee. occassionally i order grab, so that’s like room service, and i have a home laptop that’s tuned to nonsense on yt, while i work on the study desk. i even went to secondhand furniture shop and got me a pretty decent office chair. there’s a tiny blackboard with loud reminders to complete my timesheet. (i don’t see it, as i can’t read)
all in all it’s a good arrangement, since i also have large windows to the roof that’s apparently the feline highway. i basically have a pretty decent studio apartment, and i can use the ground floor building shed. there’s a shared kitchen. my mum is my next door neighbour and we share housekeeper costs so i’m like those pre-70s ladies in boarding houses on a long-term stay. but i still feel like i’ve not achieved a milestone i wanted for myself - which is living on my own terms, physically separated. heck, mco has rly made my mum reconnect with her past self and she’s more happily going around the top floor with no shirt on than me, but i feel like it’s my fault, because i’ve gone pantless first. everyone has different limits.
i keep telling myself to take sometime with a sketchbook, so i could really plan out my home, even if i can’t afford it yet, but the other thing i don’t like thinking about, is, in uni, i lived through one era of living in this house while it’s being actively renovated (the other era i was safely installed away in a boarding school), and i just don’t like doing that. no, thank you. though i expect i’ll sing a different tune if i actually have the money to do so.
wow, three mins to spare to midnight.