new look! newer than the last new look!

the incredible adventures of new CMS backend

or: ‘yes, i’ve now discovered the perils and pleasure of a self-hosted Wordpress site’.

Per Kat, this is not a relaunch per se, it’s just that the last one was a soft launch. So here it is again: In any case, I kinda went into it in this post, but I basically decided to start afresh using Wordpress on my site rather than going around trying to make the basic Weebly features work for me, and then be tempted to upgrade to a(n unnecessary) paid plan.

So far so good! Prior to this I only had a free account, but now it was all about learning about containers and php and noodling about the file directory tree. in any case, i’m still dedicated to being a normie in my dotage, so i’ve firmly set myself to only find solutions via one of the many thousands of plugins rather than opening Notepad and handcoding shit. (lies, I still had to do an ugly code patch job to the htaccess file for some reason)

So here’s how it’ll shape up:

bringing back the 90s with a personal website

titled 'More of a Comment' because traumatic* and accurate


Started March with the actualisation of a long-held idea: my own personal website:

Decided to bite the bullet and actually pay for the site hosting and domain etc, even if I’m not in the market to establish a personal brand. But it was getting on my nerves that I have all sorts of crap all over the place and even if geocities is dead, I’M STILL HERE.

Don’t worry about this newsletter, I’m finally actually going to use it as such.It was annoying to me that I was writing all this stuff, and yet, I can’t really tag and organise it. I don’t have the best memory, even with my own stuff. also i hated my wordpress site names =_=

So! Have a browse. I’ve decided to organise it to my three most common roles in life that I like: maker, writer, traveller. So far:

  1. I registered for a week-long convention for women with ADHD, and here are my notes from Day 1 [Review section]

  2. Posted some old writing [Scribbles section]

  3. A blurp on my knitting/crochet/spinning in other socmedia [Textiles section]

  4. Set up a page for my public performances ~back in the day~

So that’s a lot of sections, so just stick to this newsletter. Updates here are here because they’re finally good and ready.

Maybe now I can do my spoilery essay-length reviews of media I’ve consumed.

OctoJo Day 24

wowwww it's been over a week!

and i got nothing much to say, or rather i have too much. i’d do a ramble while i spin if i could just set up the cam, but as it is here’s a quick craft update.

also! am trying to use my craft ig more, at the very least i should actually use it to document my, you know, crafts.

today’s our highest number of cases yet, and sabah remains deeply and badly affected. i’ve been contributing to some of the migrants’ fundraisers as well, but my pay just came in, so i expect i’ll be running through this list.

though not as much as i like, cos mental health is expensive! on that note, had my first consult with a behavioural therapist slash adhd coach. so far it’s been interesting, though of course i’m procrastinating on the action points/homework we’ve agreed upon. :D

it’s hard to demonstrate to my brain the consequences tho, because i do just fine passing with this frankly terrible-to-me work ethic. i mean, i gave myself two weeks to study for this exam for a certification as ‘expert in financial inclusion’ last month and in the end i gave myself a day and a half, and look, now i’m apparently a certified expert!!

OctoJo Day 18

another weekend gone

i was going to make another update video instead but my ring light + tripod broke, which felt like another stick on the failure pile this week. but no! let’s reorient that thinking. now i have an excuse to go on lazada and properly refresh my a/v setup for my work station. which leaves my clearly visible bed, but i think i’m gonna get started on that massive blanket project then or something similar, that i can clip over my bookshelf as needed (i got the collapsible photo backdrop screens + frame setup, but it’s bothersome to do so regularly for my personality and my lack of height.)

also, the week/end hasn’t really been a total failure. work-wise i had a highpoint in the mid-week in terms of my personal achievement and then it completely crashed for the rest of the week as the covid-19 cases were climbing. also my new silicone moulds arrived, and i let myself be seduced into trying them out, which was how i ushered in the weekend with some absolute failure pots (i’m trying to make container candles, starting from the container itself), and so i rebroke them and soaked them in water, which was too successful in producing fine silt (ie TOO much water despite my filtering them) so subsequent pots took way too long, AND i tried mordanting my wooden wicks, except i got the borax:salt:water ratio largely wrong, and that was how i slept at 4am feeling absolutely gutted about it all.

but i woke up saturday with the resolve not to fall further into the sunken cost fallacy. it’s okay to start from scratch again - i don’t have any deadlines on this; i’ve got more clay & plaster powders; and at least i know what i did wrong. and maybe those wicks were still sufficiently made flame retardant - so i remelted enough of the last batch to make a test candle, before rushing off to my psych appointment, and pats to myself, for prepping my nasi lemak to eat in the car. which, uh, i had to do, since i was taking so long with the candle (because i woke up around 9ish). and i wasn’t even late!

i was trying to explain to my psych about it though, since i was having a check-in this weekend as part of my meds re-up, where my fundamental emotion from young has always been anger and spite (is this surprising to people? i don’t think so. it’s not unnnnn-possible to be full of rage and be an optimistic smiley easily-amused bitch!), that spite insomnia is totally a thing. you know, u haven’t quite finished a thing u wanted to get done, so u put off sleep. but i think it’s part of my adhd - emotions run hot, and i have too many thoughts. in any case, i brought up my interest in exploring some kind of counselling because the work motivation thing is truly kicking my ass (and truly i’m blessed to have been able to get away with it for so long), and he suggested that i’m looking for some behavioural therapists with a view on adhd coaching, since other than this neuro condition, i don’t particularly exhibit any particularly urgent condition, which i agreed (well, of course i did, i went into the conversation thinking so). he’s still advising me to consider increasing my dosage on more taxing days, so he’s given me extra as well.

all well and good, but private mental health services truly does a chokehold on your finances, since it’s still stigmatised enough i don’t dare to explore claiming it on my work insurance (i’ve checked on my personal one and it’s not covered per se). but i’m taking notes internally myself, since who knows, i might have to explore other options too. in any case, i got an appointment for another therapist as well. i think i need an additional accountability partner, but not a friend, because no, i don’t want to.

i spilled coffee on my way out, so that wasn’t helping my tetchines. but you know, i went home, i hung out with my friends for our weekly zoom, i did more pots, with varying levels of beauty, and i even managed to salvage some of that silt, since it was drying out enough to be workable clay. sure, air selangor had another massive accident (burst pipe this time) so we had no water from the evening onwards, but we did have enough warning, and i did manage a shower.

and the mordanted wicks work! i’m so delighted, you have no idea. so i made a fresh batch of candles - which meant i even cut and trimmed the wood pieces to size, including the bases - and i even ordered additional moulds (these are quartz-shaped, quite unusual and probably won’t be restocked once the batch runs out), and my bestie bought me coffee for my birthday. and i got it all settled before 9pm, and now i even managed to put in some duolingo practice. and you know what, before that, i got namechecked in a fic rec list at the start of the weekend, so i got a couple of kudos coming my way. and trixie & katya has a new netflix react installment out, and horlicks is back to sleeping in my bed (clearly all is forgiven in the case of the lopped off testes).

outside tho, the case numbers have not really been improving, it’s been hovering in the 550-800 range (with outlier days of course), and Sabah being on a critical upward trend. there’s a lot i want to say, but i also want to go scheme about this backdrop idea, and besides other people have already done their say. my bro and i had another lively debate, while i was eating the cakes he and his wife got me for my birthday, over life in the new normal. we essentially agree in the major stuff though he’s got a reflexive dislike over discourse if it hits a certain temperature. but it’s fine, because i like arguing and i wasn’t wrong anyway. (oh he hates that attitude, but it’s an evidence-based flex)

OctoJo Day 15

pay no attention to Days 8-14

lol sorry i lost my rhythm to post. anyway, i keep losing my will to actually type something, so here’s a video update, where you can laugh at my duolingo progress.

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